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Finding Your Deity

I’ve seen a lot of people asking how to find their deity, how do they know who their deity is, etc. And, quite frankly, I’m baffled: I just don’t understand the question.

One part of the problem is that I’m not quite sure exactly what they mean. The deity that they feel closest to? The deity that they are supposed to serve? The deity that they are called to? (How they expect anyone other than themselves to answer that last one is beyond me, but anyhow…)

For that matter, how they expect anyone to provide them with the answer to any of those questions is also beyond my understanding.

Maybe I’m just in “Cranky Old Crone” mode, but why does it seem that no one wants to do the work for themselves anymore? Why are they looking to other people to provide quick answers to questions that they can really only find answers to by looking within?

Maybe I’m just lucky. Once I’d been practicing long enough for things to sink in, I knew who my deities were — I’d always known, actually, I just didn’t realize it at first. They were the ones who first “spoke” to me, way back in high school: Apollo, Artemis, and Athena. Apollo especially. (And, more recently, Hermes.)

How did I know? I just knew.

Looking back, I can see Apollo’s touch in so many little things in my life: my need for sunlight (I swear I run on solar batteries), my love of poetry, being drawn toward divination, being called to a healing path…

And why is it so important to know who their deities are right off the bat?

When I started practicing, I simply invited “The Lord and Lady” to my rituals. There were no specific names — naming them seemed to limit them somehow. (In fact, in general ritual I’m still most likely to use Lord and Lady, unless I am trying to connect with a specific energy or am honoring a specific deity.)

If anyone out there can explain this phenomenon, please do.

Buying Spells

Recently I posted about casting spells to help yourself, and why it’s okay to do that. But what about casting spells to help others?

Of course that’s permissible. I think it’s better if it’s done with their knowledge and consent, but everyone is going to have different opinions on that, and I’ll admit that there is a huge grey area there.

What about charging someone to cast a spell for them? Much bigger grey area. I mean, yes, your time and energy are worth something, and there should be some sort of exchange if you are doing work for another. And money can be considered to be a form of energy. But…

Are you liable if it backfires or doesn’t work?

I think I’d be more comfortable with teaching them how to do it themselves: not only does that relieve you of liability, but it helps to demystify the process, make it more accessible and understandable.

And more enlightenment can only be a good thing, right?


Now, what about going to someone to have a spell cast for you? (This is what prompted this post…*)

Personally, I’d rather do it myself.

For one thing, no one is going to be more emotionally invested in your problem than you are, and it’s emotional energy that fuels the magic.

(Note: if you are sick or run down or otherwise unable to raise enough energy to do a spell, then by all means, ask for help from friends in the Craft until you are back on your metaphysical feet.)

But more importantly, this path is about taking responsibility for yourself and your life, for creating the change you want and the outcome you want.

Giving that responsibility to another lessens your own power and control over your life.

Don’t do that.

Be wise.

Do it yourself.



*I’ve been getting  comments about how great so and so is and how much s/he helped the poster gain control over their life or do whatever. 


First, let me apologize for missing last week.  I somehow forgot what day it was until two days later when I was writing a post for my writing blog.


Excuse me while I rant…

First (or is this second now?) let me say that I don’t mind teaching.  In fact, I love teaching.  I love helping others find their way along the path or learn about energy or whatever.  I even loved it when I would have orientees at work.

(Granted, way back when I was starting out on this path I got dragged into the role of teacher kicking and screaming and objecting that I didn’t know enough to be a teacher.   My most often used line was “I’m a healer, not a teacher” – at least, it was until I was reminded that teaching is a form of healing.)

But, anyhow…  I like teaching.  I should have been one.

But I do not like spoon-feeding people!

And, yes, in the last few days I’ve had more than enough of that to last me a lifetime.

We’re supposed to be the wise ones, the knowing ones.

We’re supposed to take responsibility for ourselves and our paths and our learning. It’s one thing to ask for help with something you don’t understand.  And we were all new to the path once – that’s not the issue.

But asking what “eclectic” means instead of taking less than a minute to Google the word?   Seriously – it took longer for him to type the question and wait for an answer than it would have taken to open a new tab and Google it.

Another goodie was “Who’s Prometheus?”  Seriously?   The picture that started that thread mentioned him being bound and having his liver torn out every day for giving mankind the gift of fire and you couldn’t get some sort of general idea who he is?   Or look it up yourself?


Reading comprehension: it’s a wonderful thing.

So is Google.

Maybe because I came to this path before the days of the internet, when answers took longer to find than typing a couple words into Google, but this is really starting to irritate me.

I’m not saying don’t ask questions.  Asking questions is a great way to learn, and, frankly, no one can teach you if we don’t know what you need to know.

But before you ask, look things up on your own!  For one thing, following Wiki links is a great way to explore and learn about all sorts of things that may intrigue you, perhaps even things that you didn’t know about.  (I can spend hours following links in Wikipedia, sometimes to the point of forgetting what I started out researching.)

Granted, you aren’t going to find the answers to everything online.  Sometimes you need to talk to other people.  And most of us on this path are more than happy to answer questions.

I know I am.

As long as you’ve done at least some work on your own.  (Can’t find the info you want?  I’m happy to refer you to websites or books if I know of any.)

And sometimes you need an answer to things that aren’t quite as quick and easy of a look up – help for anxiety (there are a bazillion or two correspondences for everything), suggestions for spells, different tried and true methods of doing things because sometimes the way you’ve been doing things just isn’t working at the moment and you need something new.

And anything that requires a more objective viewpoint – for instance, it’s really hard to do a clear, non-biased reading for yourself.

Read. Learn.  Then ask questions about things you don’t quite understand:  sometimes you need to hear things put in a different way, and that’s where a teacher comes in.

I am more than willing to help people who want to learn.

But I’m not going to spoon feed you.