Recently I posted about casting spells to help yourself, and why it’s okay to do that. But what about casting spells to help others?
Of course that’s permissible. I think it’s better if it’s done with their knowledge and consent, but everyone is going to have different opinions on that, and I’ll admit that there is a huge grey area there.
What about charging someone to cast a spell for them? Much bigger grey area. I mean, yes, your time and energy are worth something, and there should be some sort of exchange if you are doing work for another. And money can be considered to be a form of energy. But…
Are you liable if it backfires or doesn’t work?
I think I’d be more comfortable with teaching them how to do it themselves: not only does that relieve you of liability, but it helps to demystify the process, make it more accessible and understandable.
And more enlightenment can only be a good thing, right?
Now, what about going to someone to have a spell cast for you? (This is what prompted this post…*)
Personally, I’d rather do it myself.
For one thing, no one is going to be more emotionally invested in your problem than you are, and it’s emotional energy that fuels the magic.
(Note: if you are sick or run down or otherwise unable to raise enough energy to do a spell, then by all means, ask for help from friends in the Craft until you are back on your metaphysical feet.)
But more importantly, this path is about taking responsibility for yourself and your life, for creating the change you want and the outcome you want.
Giving that responsibility to another lessens your own power and control over your life.
Don’t do that.
Do it yourself.
*I’ve been getting comments about how great so and so is and how much s/he helped the poster gain control over their life or do whatever.
(Oops! I thought I scheduled this, and found it still sitting here in “edit post” mode.)
Before I start, let’s talk about the Rede.
What is frequently not considered is that “harm none” includes yourself.
Taking it a step further, it also means not permitting harm to come to yourself. (And I include harm to loved ones in that.)
Keep in mind, also, that the Rede applies to Wicca and its offshoots. Not all Witches are Wiccan and not all follow the Rede.
That’s not to say that they are unethical or that they go around cursing people at will. It just means that they aren’t afraid of the dark.
Nor are they afraid to be proactive, or to take matters into their own hands.
Sometimes a situation arises where you need to not be a doormat.
The other night there was an incident with a new neighbor that set off some caution flags. He didn’t do anything, or even make any threats, but… let’s just say that his application for asshole has been pre-approved.
So, what to do?
He hasn’t done anything, but the potential for trouble is there.
Do I ignore my instincts or take action?
I believe in being proactive.
No, I’m not going to do a spell to get him to move. (Although people tend to not stay in that rental for long and I am going to hope that the trend continues.)
I will, however, be putting some extra protections on my home and my car. And I may extend them to the neighbors on either side of me.
Proactive defensive magic.
This can take many different forms.
Probably the most common is to place some sort of wards on your home, especially doors and windows. to keep out negative energy. I’ll admit, I’ve become a little lax about that lately, as the neighbors on either side of us are good people.
A friend of mine suggested some prickly plants on the porch, so maybe I’ll start a dish garden for cacti. Once it’s warmer (on a consistent basis!) I think I’m going to do just that.
And I was thinking about growing some rue in a pot on the porch as well.
You can also charge an object to act as a protective device: a rock, a statue, etc. I’m going to be on the lookout for a statue (or maybe a wind chime) of a cat to do that with. (Why a cat? Because for some reason, “Cat” is a protective totem for me.)
And, of course, there is always the standby of a line of salt.
And binding magic. I don’t use knot magic a lot but I have used it quite effectively to bind negative energy.
So many options…
I love being a witch!
Lately, I’ve seen the question asked if it is all right to cast a spell for yourself, for a new job, money, etc.
Why wouldn’t it be?
As long as you are harming none with your actions, why wouldn’t it be?
You are as valuable as anyone else.
Your needs are as important as anyone else’s.
Not less than.
Not more than.
The same as.
Where does the thought that it might not be all right come from?
I had my own suspicions as to the origin of that thought, but I ran the question past some Pagan friends of mine to see what they said.
Caro, a traditional Witch (not a Wiccan!) believes that it is a “recent” development that grew from Neo-Paganism’s desire to get away from the image that witchcraft is “evil.” Many modern Pagans are still strongly influenced by Christianity and its moral code and seem to have just replaced the (Christian) God with a Goddess without making a real break. Scratch the surface of many Pagans, she says, and you’ll find that their Paganism is only skin deep – the concept of divine punishment is replaced by a form of “karma” or the “rule of three.” Real witchcraft is still frightening to many who claim to be witches and they seek to sanitize and emasculate it. Adding the gloss of altruism made witchcraft less frightening, both to its practitioners and to those outside of the Craft.
But, I argue, the Bible basically says what I said above. It says to “Love thy neighbor as thyself.” Not more than, not less than, but the same as.
Brandon’s response to that is that most of the dogma of the last two thousand years is not based on the Bible, and part of the non-biblical dogma includes a denial of self, not for the greater good of the group, but for the divinity. Being “selfish” – even in a healthy sense – is seen as “bad.” In fact, we are still fighting the “evil” of masturbation because it is a “selfish” act.
In addition, he points out, our media and daily culture are all about stories of selflessness, of people risking their own lives for others, of putting others ahead of themselves, of giving “selflessly” to others.
This is reinforced by Becky’s experiences. As the oldest of three children, she was expected to be the more “responsible” one and help take care of her siblings, take on more chores around the house, etc.
She says that she still doesn’t know how to put herself first, and feels that putting oneself first is looked upon as being selfish by society. And especially so for women, who are taught to be everything for everyone, whether it be for our children, spouses, other family members, etc.
Thus, casting spells for oneself would be considered selfish by society in general, regardless of any religious overtones.
So, how do we get past this?
Well, for starters, by accepting that we are as worthy as the next person. There is no need to feel guilty for wanting to better yourself and for using your skills – including magical skills – to do so. It doesn’t make you a bad person. Honest!
And by understanding that there is a huge difference between the God of the Christians and the deities worshiped by Pagans. It’s not easy to cast off a lifetime of indoctrination into guilt and fear, but that is not what our deities are about.
You are worthy, not worthless.
“You are a child of the universe,
no less than the trees and the stars;
you have a right to be here.”
Ah, yes, it’s that time of year again, when a young witch’s fancy turns lightly to thoughts of love – and love spells.
Pagan/Wiccan/Witchcraft Facebook groups are being hit with questions almost daily about “How do I make someone fall in love with me?” “Do you know any love spells you can share?” “How can I break up this other couple?”
Now, granted, not all witches follow the Rede, but most have some sort of code of ethics, a knowledge of right and wrong, and believe in some sort of Law of Return, that what you send out comes back to you in at least equal measure.
And interfering with someone’s free will is just plain wrong. (Well, there is a grey area on that – if someone is hurting someone, yeah, then I’m cool with stopping him or her. But back to the subject at hand.)
You can’t force someone to fall in love with you. You can’t force love.
Not real love, anyhow.
Yes, it is possibly to get someone obsessed with you, but what happens when you get bored and want out? Uh-huh. You’re bored and they’re still obsessed.
Besides, why would you want someone that you had to force to love you? Being loved freely is much better – you know that they are with you because they want to be, they choose to be. That’s a far better ego rush than “I forced him/her to love me.”
That said, it is possible to do ethical love spells.
A couple ways.
One is by focusing on yourself. What might you be doing to block yourself from being in that perfect relationship that you want?
Which leads, of course, to the question, “Do you know what you want?”
Spend time thinking about exactly what you want in a life partner, what s/he is like, what things the two of you would do together, do you want someone who is outgoing and always on the go or do you prefer (or need) someone quieter, someone who is content to spend quiet evenings at home together.
(HINT: If the only things you can think about are your potential partner’s looks, then you are not ready to do any sort of love spell. You’re not even open to real love – go back and re-think your answers to “What might you be doing to block yourself from being in that perfect relationship that you want?” When you’ve gained some insight and maturity you may continue.)
This doesn’t need done in a day. In fact, it probably shouldn’t be. Spend some time on it, say from new moon to full. You want your list to be as true and complete and in depth as possible.
Once you have the qualities you seek firmly in mind (and preferably written down) there are several ways to proceed.
You can focus on your intent to draw love into your life, charge a pink candle with that intent, and light it.
You can charge a piece of rose quartz and carry it with you.
You can make a poppet – just be careful that you aren’t tying it to any specific person, but to the concept, the ideal that you have been creating. Then sleep with it under your pillow, carry it with you (if it’s small enough), leave it on your altar, leave it on your dresser in front of the mirror – whatever works for you.
But the most important thing is to put yourself in places where you can meet the person of your dreams. Staying home and waiting for her or him to come knock on your door is probably not going to yield the best results.
* * *
Recommended correspondences for love spells include roses/rose petals, rose quartz, and pink candles. (Roses make us think of love, rose quartz promotes self-love (and it is necessary to fully love yourself in order to fully love another) and pink is the blending of the red of passion with the white of purity.) And, of course, anything that has meaning to you, personally.